Hello there readers!
Today is officially my 2 week bandiversary! My incisions are healing great and I usually forget they are even there! I still have some of the bandage strips (Steri-Strips) on a few of them but I am supposed to let them come off on their own...so I am. My large incision is partially free of the strips and feels fine. (Although when you press on it lightly you can feel the lump where it is healing back together...creepy!) The small incisions are smaller than I even thought will be gone in no time! The one on my belly button is doing fine as well and hasn't bothered me at all today now that I think about it (unless I bend completely over for too long). I have not tried to wear jeans yet though. I hope to possibly do that this weekend (more on that in a few). I am no longer wearing my binder thing-a-ma-jig and I only use my blanket for my stomach at work (my desk hits me right at my large incision). Overall, healing seems to be going great! I am still taking my icky medicine 4 times a day (before meals and at night) and I have about 1-1/2 bottles left. I'm hoping it will be gone by the month's end! (REALLY hoping! I am so OVER that stuff.)
Hunger-wise I am still hungry from time to time, especially if I do not drink my protein shake like I am supposed too. I am currently eating strict 2 oz meals for breakfast and 3-4 oz meals for lunch and dinner. (This is a bit more than recommended but I have a hard time measuring things without my cups and I don't always use them - although I probably should and I fear for my husbands life if I eat so less than I am right now.) I never get full, however, so I know that I am not over eating. As far as cheating goes...the only snacks I eat are sugar free Jell-o and pudding and for this week only I occasionally (once a night or so) have 3 little pieces (so, 1 row of a bar) of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate...and I savor every second of it! I won't lie either, hunger sucks. I have definitely had my moments where I question what I did to myself and WHY would I do something that forbade me to ever eat french fries again??!?!!? WHY CRUEL FATE?! .... Then I remember that it was my choice and I CAN eat fries, but I am choosing NOT TOO because I am a good girl...and I will resist you stupid delicious french fries of doom and cellulite. (Can you tell fries and I have a love-hate relationship?) But really, it's rough and can suck at times, but I am dealing.
I am very slowly learning to deal with my jealousy of other people eating what they want and drinking their pop (but I will say, I have not craved any pop since my surgery!) while I am sitting here drinking my not so tasty protein shakes and eating my 2ish oz of so-not-enough mushies. I also remind myself that in 2 more weeks I will hopefully get a fill and begin my journey to not being so hungry and being satisfied with these small portions I am doing right now. I am still working on eating slowly and I can tell when I eat too fast because I get hiccups! (BUt they don't hurt anymore thankfully!)
When I am feeling really frazzled I get on the LapBand Talk message boards or my Realize Band website and read and read and read and remind myself that I am not alone and if all of these other people can get past bandster hell then so can I! I am doing the damn thing already! As of today, I have lost 9 pounds. This doesn't seem too real to me yet because I don't feel like I am showing it, but I am hoping that when I try on my jeans this weekend they will seem just a *bit* bigger on me and then I really start to feel it.
Speaking of this weekend, I am going to be in a wedding (for my BFF Alex...who has already been married for over 2 years...long story). I am wearing a wrap dress. I tried it a few ways last night and I was NOT feeling it. I think it will be better once I get a new pair of Spanx and a safey pin or 2. (And a few more girls to help with situating it and to give their opinions. I love my husband, but he thinks I look beautiful all the time and is NO HELP when it comes to these matters...bless him.) Right now, the silky material shows all my lumps, and that's not cool. I am hoping the Spanx will smooth out all those lumps, at least for the few hours I will be in the dress. My friend is so awesome, she even is making sure there is stuff there that I can eat too. :) Granted, I can eat just about anything as long as I chew it well (except for bread, tortillas, chips, lettuce, rice, pasta, potato skin...ya know basically anything that has a lot of carbs...and tastes delicious).
On that note, I think I am going to finish my protein shake and enjoy my last bit of yummy dark chocolate before bed!