Monday, January 31, 2011

just thinking

Firstly, no new news so far. Secondly, I have been asked for info on gastric banding details. I was made to visit a really great website with lots of good info but I'm not sure I'm allowed to share it, so once I get the okay from the people at St. Vincent's I will share it. Until then you can always go here and see what Wikipedia has to say about it. I think they explain things pretty well and with a lot of detail. It's a lot of info, but you can skip around and get the gist of things. Please don't be terribly frightened by the list of complications and yes, I have been made aware of all of them.

Chris went to the gym today! He said he really enjoyed it and I'm very glad! I'm hoping this ice storm doesn't get too much in the way of him working out...although I feel it will make the town stop dead in its tracks for a couple of days. I;ve made dinner for the second night in a row tonight and I'm trying to go for all week. I went to the store yesterday and planned out all of our dinners for the week. Wish me luck that we do them all! (I really don't have a choice anyway since the rest of our money is going to bills.)

So, I told my boss today about my intentions and I was pretty nervous about what she would say, but she was very supportive and happy for me. She asked me lots of questions and we talked about it for a while and I let her know approximately how many more doctor's appointments I'd have to have before it was all over with. She didn't seem to mind! So that was a relief. She said I was perfect the way I was but she was happy for my decision and would help out however she could. :)

Recently, I've been thinking about what people that get weight loss surgery consider their decision to be. What I mean by that is do they consider it a defeat at their own attempts to be healthy or do they consider it a new challenge in life? Obviously, it can been taken both ways by the same person at different times in their life.

I consider it both ways. In a way, I do feel like I have failed in regards to my health and I definitely feel ashamed of it from time to time (probably more often then I'd like to admit). I mean, I have done this before and then slacked off and I let it go way too far. But on the other hand, I feel like this surgery is a great way to jump start my lifestyle change (again) and further motivate me to stick with it for the long haul this time (losing the weight, fitting my old clothes, betting pregnant eventually). I have a lot of different factors to motivate me. I know the challenges I will face and the dedication this process will take. I know I will have to do it for the rest of my life, and I really feel I am ready for that. I, in no way, consider this a cop out or an easy way out. I know it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of self control (which obviously is/was a problem for me before). I consider this stepping stone to a brighter future where I can feel normal again and not worry about what everyone else is I can start the next chapter in my life!

1 comment:

  1. fine... you win! You posted this new one like the day after I checked in :P I fail. Anyway - sounds good! Aunt Marian's friend Susan (not SUSAN, but cool Susan) got lap band and has apparently lost a good amount of weight. It is definitely a struggle, though, and I remember her commenting "It's like you eat a grape and you feel full! What the heck?!" But I'm sure you'll do fine :) Stay warm!!!!