Wednesday, June 21, 2017

My "first" fill - day one

Alright. So I went to see the PA at my surgeon's office that does my fills. They weighed me at 245.5 (whereas my work scale weighs me at 247.5). We talked a little and I told her what was going on (hungry after an hour, struggling with carbs, all that working out with no weight loss). She agreed a small fill might help with portion sizes but only thought I needed a little bit even though I had been gone a year. She opted to give me 0.5 cc. I was a little miffed but I didn't argue.

Thankfully, she knows her stuff because I felt just right amount of funneling when I did the water sip test. We also talked about eventually getting a panniculectomy. She agreed that those 4 points ALL had to be met in order for my insurance to cover it. She told me to go to t he doctor ANY time I had any rashes or issues with my pannis. I don't have many now, but I suppose after I lose some more weight I could. If I get this done I would love to do it before the end of year (for insurance deductible reasons). Although I question my ability to lose 50 lbs by then. I suppose time will tell! After seeing the PA and getting my fill we went to see the nutritionist. Nothing new there. She said I was doing all the right things and to just keep it up. Focus on good carbs instead of bad ones. Eat more veggies. Drink more water. Increase probiotics.

We left my appointment and went to McAlister's so I could get some soup because I was starving. I had the chicken tortilla soup with some sour cream in it. It was pretty thick soup. I ate it slowly. I didn't eat the chips that came with it. I had sips of lemonade to drink. I resisted stealing a bite of my husbands amazingly delicious-looking club sandwich. I had a few bites of his potato salad even though I was full. At dinnertime I had an 8 oz protein shake around 6 pm and I had to eat some chicken noodle soup around 10:30 pm because I was again starving. I was getting a little worried this fill wouldn't do anything, but I reminded myself this is just what liquids do (and for good reason right now). 

This morning I've eaten greek yogurt (my usual) for breakfast and cottage cheese for lunch. An hour after my cottage cheese I felt hungry again (still not sure if it was REAL hunger or head hunger) so I ate some (8) crackers and a tuna pouch...then I was STUFFED. Like so full. I'm kicking myself for not stopping half way through that tuna pouch.

It's hard to stop eating after such a small amount when you've been eating 'regular' portions for so long. Now I'm paying for it by being super full. On the plus side, I now know that my fill may very well be what I needed to stay in check AND solid foods should be just fine. I didn't get stuck at all, I just got full. I do still need to work on bite sizes when I start eating more normal foods though.

So here I am. Re-learning how to use my band properly. Re-learning how to think like a banded person. Re-learning how to control that stupid voice in my head that just wants another bite.

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