Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Gettin' physical

So my friends...I have FINALLY started to work out! But first, I am going to back up a little bit. Last week and the beginning of this week (so Monday, really) I was pretty much feeling like a big fat failure (pun intended). I am stuck at this stupid 20-pound weight loss and have been for 3 WEEKS! W.T.F. Obviously, I need another fill (which isn't until July 11) because I am hungry by 1-2 hours after I eat. That's not helping the weight loss. I believe my other problem is that my walking at lunch just isn't cutting it any more. I was feeling really terrible but constantly tried to remind myself that other people are noticing a difference and once I get a fill and start working out everything will be fine. Everyone loses weight at different speeds and a lot of people have multiple plateaus throughout their journey (although, I was hoping that would not be the case for me). I just feel like time is slipping away from me so fast and I am not keeping up how I wanted/imagined.

So, yesterday Chris and I went to Anytime Fitness and I signed my fatass up for a gym! I was totally excited and ready to do this! (Let's do this! I'm a cashew! ... Sorry, Dane Cook reference. Carry on.) After I signed up and got my stupid picture taken I changed and got started. The guy who runs the place, Dennis, started me on the treadmill for 10 minutes to warm up. Then I went to this row of 6 machines that were all for arm workouts. I did 3 sets of 10 on all of them at specific weights. He showed me how to correctly do them all and helped me chose the best weight for my body. There is also an ab machine...thingy. Then after that I did 20 more minutes of cardio (a steady fast pace on the treadmill).

Today, I did the same cardio before and after, but this time I did the 'leg' row along with the ab machine...thingy. So far, I am not in a TON of pain but my arms are kind of jelly-like from yesterday and I KNOW my legs will be the same way tomorrow. YAY FOR WORKOUTS. Chris and I plan on trying to do this EVERY DAY (or at the least, 5 times a week). I also got a lovely lecture from my husband on not getting in my water, so to PROVE to him that I can do it, I drank my ENTIRE 33 oz bottle of water after/during my workout! Now, keep in mind I usually struggle to finish ONE of those while at work. Today I had a 17 oz bottle of water at work and that after my workout. This is the most water I have had since I can remember! (Speaking of water, I totally have to pee for the 4th time tonight).

I really want to make more progress in my weight loss before I go see Dr. Diaz for my next fill. He was so confident that I would rock this lap band that I don't want to disappoint him. Obviously, he will realize/know I need another fill but I want to be able to say "I have been working out for 2 weeks straight and lost X amount of weight! YAY ME!" So hopefully, I will be able to do that. I will also be asking him if I can record my fill so all of you lovely people can see what it's like!

I do plan on taking and posting some pics soon...The ones Chris took for my one month were just not the same distance away and you couldn't tell a difference and we never took more, so yeah. Next time will be more even! I also need to retake my measurements next week... Scary! I did that last month but they were off and I think it's because my friend did it instead of Chris. I need to remember to be consistent when I volunteer people to measure my body parts. (heh) I put all of this info on the Realize Band website...which I have not been on in quite a while! However, that is because my work computer and my home computer cannot be on at the same time (well, they could but why waste the electricity?) and my work computer is on more than my home computer. I also cannot get on that website on this silly little NetBook I am using now because the screen is too small! Oh well. I only plan on using it now for my weight, pics, and measurements. I have given up on the food diary for now because it got to be a chore putting it all in on the website. I did like the counting calories part, but I think I will just keep doing that on paper instead of on the computer. I like to do things old school from time to time.

...and I'm rambling again. I feel like I had something more insightful to say, but of course I can't remember now. Maybe you'll get a 2-fer later tonight! (But probably not)

<3
Erin


Oh, I totally remember what I was wanting to talk about now! So, I was at the gym today and I saw this girl who had obviously (at least I hope) just had a baby ("When's that ba-Aby due?" "What baby" "Ooh no." Sorry! Brian Regan that time.) and all I could do was think, "Man, I wish my thighs were that small!" Then it dawned on me that no matter what size you are, there is always someone that wishes that they had your body. How weird is that to think? As much as we scrutinize ourselves, there will always be some random person that wishes they were your size/shape/color/etc. It really was a mind-boggling epiphany for me. It's actually something I never even thought of at my smallest weight...which is silly to think that when I was a freakin' size 16 I didn't think anyone was jealous of me. Hell, I'm jealous of that me! Anyway, enough dwelling on the past.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Update...schmupdate

I've had a few people asking about an update...so here it is.

My poop (or lack of) situation is going alright. I am taking stool softeners until I get paid again and then I will switch to fiber. If that doesn't do the trick I will go for probiotics...here's hoping the cheaper option works!

My crazy is also going alright, but in all fairness, I haven't done much these past 2 weeks to test it. My husband has been gone for the last week and will be gone all of this week for AT (advanced training aka that 2 weeks in the summer business that the National Guard does) so I haven't had him around to test my level of annoyance (love you honey!) and I also haven't had a car to go anywhere or spend money. So I suppose it's both good and bad to not have a car right now (or a husband).

I have been eating very well, if I do say so myself. I eat one scrambled egg with cheese (and new this week - with turkey sausage crumbles!) for breakfast. I take my morning meds. When I get to work I take my multivitamins (which I forgot ALL WEEKEND because I suck and forget everything on the weekends, especially when my hubby isn't here to remind me). If I get hungry before lunch (which I pretty much always do) I eat all or half of one of my protein bars. Before lunch I eat one calcium chew (and another a few hours later to get the 1000 mg). Then at lunch I eat 2 lunchmeat/RF colby cheese roll-ups, a wedge of light Laughing Cow (omgyummy) cheese with some low fat wheat thins, and I am now adding in a fruit cup or applesauce or eventually - carrots. This is what I eat EVERY DAY for breakfast and lunch. I'm not tired of it yet, but the lunch does NOT hold me over. So, usually before 4 pm I am eating the rest of my protein bar.

Dinner last week consisted of 1/4 lb turkey burgers with no buns with green beans and this weekend I made some chicken breast with AMAZING cajun marinade with green beans and some wild rice (oh wild rice, how I've missed you!) I actually just had the rest of that for dinner today and it was still amazing. The chicken breast I usually only eat 3/4 of...which is probably about 4-5 oz (the size of a kind of fat deck of cards). So I think I am doing pretty good on the portion sizes.

Unfortunately, this also means I am never full, usually at least no longer starving but always hungry a few hours later. It SUCKS. I can't wait until my next check up with Dr. Diaz to get more fluid in this band to help with the hunger. Don't get me wrong, I know that I am not supposed to be FULL every time I eat, but you have to remember I am a fat kid, and for a fat kid to feel satisfied they have to be FULL. I am slowly learning this is not the case, but mind over matter is a slow process. I did eat at Panera yesterday afternoon with some friends (as payment for helping them move - yay exercise!) and I was pretty full. Not full to the point of "omgPUKE" but full to the point of "I probably should not have had that delicious hunk of bread." BUT I felt like I should eat it now while I still can enjoy it just in case I am one of those people that cannot eat bread after I get more of a fill. Other than that yummy hunk of bread, I had half of a sandwich and a Caesar side salad. Not the healthiest thing I could have gotten, but it was delicious and I don't regret it at all!

As for my weight loss....I am currently down 21 lbs. Now, I know I forgot to tell everyone when I was down 20 lbs but I was at 20 lbs a week and a half ago. Then my lady time started and I was fluctuating between 1-2 lbs since then...but as of just now I am FINALLY down another pound! (I will have to attribute that to the pooping I did today..haha YAY for TMI) I am slightly disgruntled about my stalled weight loss but I am trying to think positively that it is another pound gone and next week I will start at the gym...and I will kick some major booty at it. (Yay for positive thinking!)

I think that all I got for today...have a good night!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Take the bad with the good.

So, it's been while! That is my fault. I thought today I should talk about some of the not-so-awesome things that are going on with my band. Obviously, it's nothing serious - it's just things I've come to notice. Please heed this as a warning, some of this will be kind of (maybe) gross and TMI, but this blog is about being real and honest, so that is what I am going to do.

First, I want to talk about poop. Yes, poop...or lack of really. When you don't eat a lot, you don't poo a lot. Long story short, I am kind of constipated. It sucks. I started taking a stool softener and it has been helping but I still don't feel ... satisfied? Either way, I will be adding FIBER into my diet as soon as I get paid and go back to the grocery store.

Secondly, I want to talk about what I lovingly call 'the crazies'. Now, before my surgery (more like 2-3 years ago I think) I was on antidepressants for anxiety and a bit of depression. I stopped taking it after a few months because I wasn't sure if it was working and I didn't like some of the side effects. I still have issues with anxiety and it seems to have come back more so since my surgery (I think, I really can't tell). It started with my husband mentioning to me that I had been more easily agitated and snide. I honestly didn't notice it. He brought it up again a few days later and the next day, I snapped. My shower head was slowly turning to one side and it was seriously pissing me off. So much so that I had a small panic attack in the shower and almost ripped the stupid thing off the wall. Once I was out of the shower I was feeling very nauseous and anxious. I was very, very close to throwing up...and that scared me. As most of you probably know, throwing up with the band is not a good thing. It can cause slippage of the hand and other irritations. So, I took my anti-nausea medicine as soon as I could stand and went slowly on my way. That afternoon, I made an appointment with my primary doctor to get back on some antidepressants.

The next morning, I went to the doctor, told her my problems and why I needed to avoid anxiety attacks at all costs, and she prescribed me new, different antidepressants. (If you want to know what it is leave me a message, email, or comment and I will share.) I have only been taking it for 5 days so I can't tell you how well they are working yet, but I will keep everyone updated on my mental health as time goes on.

Other than that, everything else is pretty chill. I started eating pasta last weekend but I think I am going to start avoiding it again...thanks to pasta being back in my life I have not lost any more weight (I'm attributing some of it to my constipation as well)! Well, I haven't weighed myself today and I don't plan on it either. I'm trying very hard to not to weigh myself more than once a week until I get on a steady exercise routine...which will be happening as soon as Chris gets back from AT and I go sign up at the gym he is a member of. He is very excited about us working out together and I hope it stays that way!

I think that's about all I have today. I am overhauling my diet these next 2 weeks while my husband is gone and trying to get back to my minimum portion sizes. I desperately do not want to get used to eating too much (even though it's still not A LOT by normal standards). I also have been slacking on my protein (although I do make SMOOTHIES now and they are awesome!) and my water fluctuates as usual. I have been adding 0 calorie flavor to it lately to try to drink it more/faster. It helps sometimes...

Until next time!

Friday, June 3, 2011

1-month checkup

Hello all!

I had my one-month checkup yesterday and it went great! We got there about an hour early (shocker...not) and thankfully, the dietitian wasn't busy so she saw me early! Their scale said I lost 15 pounds instead of 16 but that's okay. I'll stick with my scale :) We talked about what I was eating, how much, and what I could and could not eat. Basically, she said it was okay that I was eating 4-6 oz already because if that's what I need to do to stay full, then that's what I need to do. She also said I should start eating protein bars instead the shakes to help keep me full longer (which I totally agree, even though I just bought a whole new JUG of protein mix...I bought fruit to go with it though, so it can be more like a protein smoothie ^_^ OH AND, I get to start eating SALAD!!! I'm SO EXCITED! I have wanted salad since I got this surgery and I cannot wait to go salad crazy! Because lettuce breaks down so small, she said I could eat a normal sized side salad and still be within my 4-6 oz (this includes protein on the salad). YAY SALAD.

After the dietitian appointment, we went upstairs to my appointment with the surgeon. We got back to the room fairly quickly and Dr. Diaz was in there in probably less than 5 minutes! It was amazing, lol. We talked about how I was healing and feeling in general and about my hunger. We both thought a fill would be a good idea since I was still getting hungry between meals and I did not want to risk eating more food and getting too comfortable with larger portions again. So, I got my first fill! YAY!

Let me tell you, that was one of the weirdest experiences of my life! I laid on the table...thing and he pushed around (hard) on my stomach to locate my port. When he thought he found the middle, he numbed the area (ouchies) and pulled out this SUPER LONG, BIG NEEDLE (seriously, it was at least 6-7 inches long) and starting poking around my port. I could feel him hitting the port because it would give a little and I could feel it pull on my muscle. Well, turns out he was up too high and had the top of the port, so he set the giant needle of doom down and started pressing on my stomach some more. Once he found the right spot he numbed it again (worst part of this whole thing) and then went to town with the giant needle. He found the port opening and slowly put the saline into my band. He put it in and took the solution out a few times to get the air bubbles out and once it really started to get in there I could feel it tightening! It was such a crazy feeling - I don't even know if I could explain it! It's literally like if your stomach tightens when you are anxious, but not as severely. (I feel like I should point out that he marked where my port was on his paperwork so he doesn't always have to poke and prod me.) EDIT: I got 2 cc's put in my 11 cc band yesterday! Forgot to mention that!

So, thanks to my fill (yay) I am on a 48-hour liquid diet (boo)! I have been doing okay, but it still sucks as bad as it did when I was recovering. Thankfully, it's only until tomorrow afternoon and then I am going to get a SALAD!!! So excited! I'm thinking chef salad from Pizza King...yummy!

He also released me to exercise! So, starting sometime soon, I will be getting onto Chris's membership at Anytime Fitness and we are going to start working out together! I can't wait to get started and to see how much faster the weight comes off! w00t!